“The wound is the place where light enters you” – Rumi
I was sick the other weekend and ended up watching some old Gilmore Girls episodes on Netflix (of course!). I know it is fake but something I noticed is that there are emotions everywhere – all over the place! 😉 There is crying, screaming, fighting, laughing, deep sorrow, sadness, anger, and love. Perhaps it is over dramatised at times but it feels like all of the characters feel and show real emotions.
We have become so emotionless in our culture. People never talk about how they really feel. I think to not show emotion or to not feel is so emotionally damaging. Training ourselves not to feel or our children not to feel will have toxic consequences. I strongly believe that all of those negative emotions will get stored in our bodies and eventually make us sick. Mentally and physically.
Often our first instance when we see a child crying or angry is to tell them to be quiet. I think teaching others to repress their emotions is so damaging. Emotionally repressed children become emotionally repressed adults. Especially boys. We seem to think of boys being stronger physically, therefore, they must be mentally strong also. I actually think girls are mentally stronger and boys need far more support than our society gives them. This brilliant documentary is on my ‘to watch’ list.
That being said I have been finding my own personal meditation practice really difficult lately. I think I have broken through the surface level and now I am getting to the hard stuff. I want this blog to be a real reflection of myself. Things aren’t always happy and perfect!
Often when I meditate, pain comes up. It is incredibly difficult and hard to deal with. It feels like when your heart is broken for the first time. It is beautiful and soul destroying all at the same time. I am guessing that it is emotional pain that I have repressed over the years. I still think meditation can be a very beneficial practice to add into your day. However it is not for the faint of heart and it takes hard work to be with yourself and be still and to not use other things outside of yourself to distract you from all that you really are.
I believe that it is abnormal to be happy all of the time. It is normal to feel pain. It shows that we are human and we suffer. But we don’t have to be alone in our suffering, it is what connects us and joins us. So feel it, let it out. Don’t repress how you are feeling. When you are feeling down instead of thinking about numbing or distracting yourself, really go deep with yourself and explore the pain. Then move through it and realise that it can be a positive thing and you can let it transform you. Clearing our body of pain and repressed emotions will give us a greater capacity for love and will allow us to bring in more positive emotional states.
I wrote this a few days ago and since then I have been thinking about how feelings and pain are really only one element in the whole repression of self. There are so many other ways that we can repress ourselves and our natural desires and it can lead to a lot of unhealthy behaviours. Definitely some food for thought!
(Photo: Utomo Hendra Saputra)